When is this nonsense going to STOP?

When people talk about their countries, they talk with voices full of vigor and delight; it is their fatherland and they are proud. They are patriotic. As a Nigerian, being patriotic gets harder and harder everyday. Why? We are stupidly and blindly worshipping and living with tribalism and unnecessary sectarian hatred. Nigerians, we are killing ourselves. I am so ashamed of the calibre of people that inhabit my precious country. They make me reluctant to express my patriotism for my country.

Last week I caught up with a Kenyan friend who surprisingly knew the difference between Igbo and Yoruba people. When I asked how, she explained to me that she has two friends; one Igbo and the other Yoruba. She met the Yoruba guy first and he told her all these nasty things about Igbo people in general and so when she met the Igbo guy, she knew to be careful and the extent to which she should trust him and similarly, the Igbo guy had told her to be wary of Yorubas.

Even though I was appalled by her narrow-mindedness, I didn’t blame her entirely; I blame the idiots that led her to believe such, I felt a surge of anger towards the people. I am neither Yoruba nor Igbo but what does it matter? I am still Nigerian! IT's hard ebough that we have to defend ourselves and ward ofthe 419 tags, but to so openly spread our lack of untiy makes it even worse to be associated with Naija. We are divided and we are falling.

Secondly, you’d think as people get more enlightened, they become more open minded, right? Not in Nigeria! Instead, the more we progress the more we resent each other. There’s this Hausa saying that goes

“Ana girma ana cin kasa"
~ “You are growing but you are still eating sand”

That is true. The human Development index of Nigeria is improving but the attitude of the inhabitants is becoming worse. Gone are those days when parents sent their children to federal government boarding schools in another state and region. Nowadays, when people get posted to somewhere unique for their NYSC they pay their way out of it and move closer to home.

You’d be surprised that even professionals who are supposedly “enlightened” pass their judgments based on people’s tribe rather than individual proficiency. One would rather employ their “town’s men” and “contiri people.” You hear of religious riots on student campuses.

Thirdly, why can’t people understand that it is perfectly tolerable to have differing opinions, languages and religions with each other? It is possible to live in peace with your neighbors and fellow citizens; as long as you don’t impose your beliefs on each other. Instead, you hear people passing comments like “Tufiakwa, how can I be friends with a Hausa person? Over my dead body.” You hear people passing ethnic slurs openly and it is totally acceptable. Meanwhile, these same people complain that foreigners (non-Nigerians) are racist against us. Open your eyes and see that WE ARE RACIST AGAINST OURSELVES!

It may sound shocking, but even by reading people’s blogs, you’d see a lot of tribal comments and you begin to wonder why people are too thick to open their hearts and too stubborn to become tolerant. Sometimes you’d want to comment, but then you’d think “it’s their blog let them say whatever the hell they want.”

From speaking to people I noticed most of the people that talk like that haven’t even traveled around Nigeria. In fact, they probably have never left that state they live in yet, they base their assumptions on what other people told them. It’s just a chain reaction built on false facts. Traveling is the best eye opener. Don’t jump into conclusions without experiencing it for yourself first hand. Another Hausa saying goes:

“Kafin 'a kirga mutane an kirga mutum”
“Before you count a group, you count a person”

Better yourself to better your country. At this time of year everyone is thinking up New Year resolutions. I’ll give you something to add to your list.

“I shall be more tolerant of people from different ethnic groups and religions”

Imagine if everybody adjusted their attitudes, won’t the country be a better place to live?

With this wide spread of animosity, we are making it difficult to celebrate our diversity. Is it too much to ask for some peace in my own country? Just look around the world and see what’s going on. Isn’t the pointless Sunni vs. Shiite conflict in Iraq enough to warn us of the ghastly side of violence? Am I reaching for the stars when I ask for the unnecessary Muslim – Christian violence to STOP!

If we don’t unite ourselves, no one is going to do it for us! Spreading negative information from about people that are from other tribes will not make our tribe better than theirs; if anything it makes us look bad because we are bad mouthing OUR OWN COUNTRY! If I had one wish right now, I'd wish for a replacement of the people of Nigeria. Take all these narrow minded tribal people away and give me tolerant and optimistic people and I'll be happy. I love my country, but these people are ruining it for me!

Movie Reviews 2

Since I am suffering from writers block, I thought"Why not share the latest movies I watched with you people?"

(1) Aaja Nachle

Madhuri Dixits long awaited comeback! Even though she's not my best bollywood actress, I must admit that she really nailed it ith this movie. It's about a New York based Indian Dancer that vowed never to return to India. Eleven years later, the guru that taught her how to dance is on his death bed and she goes to pay him her last respect. She had no idea what was in store for her when she returned! This movie is awesome people! The first ten minites were very disappointing to me and I was thinking "This movie is going to be crap!" Oh how wrong I was! The end is just so sensational I can't describe it. You'll just have to watch it

Worst Part: The beginning and the introductory story. (This is just my opinion though, I thought it was rather cheesy and the screenwriter/director did a very lame job)

Best Part: Their Remake of the legend of Laila~Majnu. It was beautiful!

(2) Death at a funeral:

To be honest the only reason why I watched this flick was because there was nothing else in the theatre that interests me. Little did I know that I had just bought a ticket to the funniest movie of 2007! It combines dark British humour with realistic drama. I left the cinema crying from too much laucghter. Definitely a must watch.

(3) The Bee Movie

Even though I enjoyed this movie, I have to say considering all the built up anticipation and media hype around it, THIS MOVIE IS OVERRATED!!! It is a movie for people that watch and love Jerry Seinfeld's type of comedy. People that don't know or ike Seinfelod might find it rather mediocre and not as funny as other animated features from DreamWorks. Thekids will love it though.

Oh! That Wedding! ~*(^_^)*~

So I walked into the reception hall and just like magic, the wide grin that was on my face as I strolled from the car was replaced with a look of shock and sheer disappointment. Why did I even bother? I began to regret how I spent the past two hours of my life.

Rewind to 2pm; I woke up from my precious afternoon nap; the one that I imposed on myself to prevent me from eating lunch because I was saving my stomach for the precious wedding food.

A Sierra Leonean family friend’s daughter was going to get married today and since I have all this free time, I would be crazy to pass an opportunity to dress glam and better still, dress glam in traditional clothes! I had already apologized that I wouldn’t be attending the church ceremony, but I promised to be at the reception.

After the usual rub a dub dub, I got out my favorite traditional outfit; a black and maroon Swiss lace that I suffered to bargain for at Kurmi Market in Kano. I got out my pretty red mules that have been dying to leave my flat to match my sweet red bag. To top it up, I decided to wear the nice red gele or goggoro or skentele (whatever-you-call-it, I just stick to goggoro) anyway, I got it as asoebi from a friends wedding in August and it matched my outfit today so I guess it wouldn’t hurt.

Bottom Line: I spent approx:

10 mins doing my hair
15 mins in the shower
8 mins ironing my clothes
15 mins on make up
5 mins picking out accessories
5 mins trying to find the correct shawl
2 mins shining my shoes
A whopping 35 mins tying my goggoro!
5 mins staring at the mirror
10 mins taking vain mug shots and self portraits
20 minutes to get to the venue

I ended up looking like I was going to a correct Owambe, all that was missing was some $$ to spray (which I would have invested in had I not been broke).

You can imagine how majestically I walked into the hall expecting everyone to look all dressed up like I was. Only for me to get there and see people dressed up like it’s a lazy Saturday morning and they can't be bothered! It is a wedding for godness sake!

I almost sunk into the ground. If I could physically blush, my face would have turned a bright scarlet in embarrassment. Its official, today I became the Overdressed Notice-me attention seeker lady. The one that people point at during weddings, the one that makes aunties hold on to their husbands; the one that all the other ladies are eyeing.

In my mind I was like “Na wa for these Sierra Leonean people o!” Even the bride seemed to not have pt n some effort. If this was a Naija wedding I bet I wouldn’t even stand out. In fact in a Naija setting I would have been almost underdressed! There were only 7 people in trad (I counted) and I was the only person with a goggoro. You should have seen the effort I used on it too! In fact, at a point I resorted to youtube to teach me how to tie it properly! I no go lie, shame really catch me today o.

To make it worse, my brother had the time of his life laughing at me! (Remind me to pour salt in his sugar canister!)

Say NO to Violence against Women!

November 25th – International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women,

“One in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime - with the abuser usually someone known to her” – United Nations

I have always thought facts and statements like the one mentioned above were terribly sad and unfortunate. I felt pity on the women that were unfortunate to become victims to domestic violence. I acknowledged that this was a great injustice against women, but it wasn’t until last year did I decide to take action against it.

Daura is a place I have always called home despite only being there once a year. There’s the yummy fried finger food made readily available for me on request, there’s the fresh light breeze that strokes your skin and makes you feel comfortably lightheaded, there’s the percussion of the Tambari drums hinting that the Royals are in town, there’s the music of the Aligaita and Kakaki possibly from a Mai Busa practicing for the next Durbar, there’s the smell of burning firewood sweeping the streets mixed with the aroma of hot roasting Suya that is just begging to be devoured. Above all, the over optimistic ever smiling people that make you assume they are the reason that Katsina state is coined the home of hospitality.

Part of what made the place more exciting for me was my grand aunt. She’s my grandpa’s cousin but because she is quite young (maybe about 40 years old now), I refer to her as Aunty M. Aunty M happens to be the most happy-go-lucky woman I have ever met. There’s never a dull moment with this lady. The glass was always half full; her husband wasn’t an ordinary government school headmaster, he was a man that changes the lives of young kids and put them in the right direction; her children’s clothes were not expensive, her children are so healthy and nourished that they need bigger clothes. And one she prided herself in, her husband wasn’t too controlling, he wanted the best for her and couldn’t stand her getting hurt. Whenever we were in town, she’d be the one to wake us up for breakfast in the morning; she’d spend the whole day with us and wouldn’t leave until we our tummies were full with dinner.

One morning, I was lying in my mum’s room when she arrived about 2 hours later than usual without a smile on her face. I ignored her unkempt look and disheveled veil and greeted her like I usually did. She didn’t answer me but broke down in tears. It’s really disturbing to see someone that is always so cheerful cry and wail. She wasn’t speaking, but the first thing that came to my mind was that from the way she was wailing, wither someone had died or she was in immense pain. I went to comfort her but as usual, I kindly was asked out of the room because this might be “adults’ business”. I left without arguing but hoping desperately that my favorite eavesdropping window was left open.

Apparently her husband beat her up, not with his bare hands, not with a cane but with a three headed dorina (horse whip). He had beaten her once two years ago and more recently he had been doing it to her for the past two weeks but it was only now that she had had the courage to tell anyone because she knew we will listen. I felt so sorry for her. He bruised her lips so badly she had to talk from the side of her mouth, her arms were swollen and inflamed and there was blood rushing out from many spots. I couldn’t control my tears. She shrieked when we tried to use warm towels to alleviate the pain. How can anyone ever do this to a human being let alone your wife? The woman you claim to love? The woman that has been beside you for the past 20 years!

That wasn’t the end of it. When she went home that night, do you know that he beat her again? This time because she reported to my mum. She ran to the police station but the police turned her home saying that when it comes to issues between husband and wife, they will not intervene. (Imagine!) I was so angry with this that my mum and I told my father and grandma an uncle tried to tell me to “mind my business and not put my mouth in issues that are beyond me” he even tried to make me leave the place by telling me to bring ice water for everyone. But it’s this one thing he said made me want to throw my stilettos at him in anger. “It’s none of our business what happens between her and her husband”. I was so furious! Are you BLIND! Can’t you see her body? Do you want him to bring her corpse home before you put the blame on him? In the end, my dad and grandma (bless them) asked for him to be arrested.

It was after this incident that I started putting two and two together. Exactly two years ago, I remember she had a mysterious miscarriage which we all blamed on painkillers. Now that I think of it, she took Paracetamol and only Aspirin and Heparin can actually cause blood thinning and miscarriages. Who knows maybe it was because he caused her so much pain and killed his own unborn children.

She told me that it was a common thing these days in Daura that husbands b4eat their wives. I was heartbroken. The place I have always thought perfect had ugly skeletons. Everything looked so jolly on the surface but underneath… I was disappointed but it got me thinking, about my possible career goals, thinking about how to make a difference in people’s lives. People have to stop overlooking serious issues like that. No one deserves to be treated like that anywhere in the world, talk less of a free, democratic country. We need to get the message out there. We need to empower women to report domestic abuse. We need to change people’s perceptions of what is morally right. It is ridiculous that in this day and age people would think it is acceptable for the husband to beat the wife. It is even more disturbing that this doesn’t just occur in my Daura, I have seen situations like this when I was in Warri and Port – Harcourt and after reading United Nations Women Watch reports, it is RAMPANT WORLDWIDE! It is sickening!

Violence against women persists in every country in the world as a pervasive violation of human rights and a major impediment to achieving gender equality. Such violence is unacceptable, whether perpetrated by the State and its agents or by family members or strangers, in the public or private sphere, in peacetime or in times of conflict. ... As long as violence against women continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development and peace.

I know with an issue like this people often wonder - what can I do? It is difficult to help individually, but you can make a difference by supporting groups and organizations that are helping to eradicate it.

Personally I joined Amnesty International and I am so pleased with their campaigns so far – Spread the word!

November 25th – December 10th: 16 Days of Activism against Gender Violence. Find out more here!

...Then they'll Huff and they'll puff and they'll blow their lungs out!

To satisfy my frequent bouts of craving for nostalgia, I often use Facebook to stalk catch up and keep in touch with my faithful friends from Secondary School. Thanks to this wonderful networking site, I have been reunited with people I never thought I’d meet again in this lifetime. I haven’t seen many of them since graduation mainly because everyone scattered in different directions to pursue tertiary studies.

Unfortunately for me nobody from my set (or even the entire school) ended up in my corner of the globe. So you’d understand how excited I get when they write on my wall or when their mini-feeds read new photos uploaded – it means I have a window to peek into their seemingly more interesting lives and see what I’m missing out on .

It was during on of my daily perusals that I came across the one piece of information that has spoilt my day and possibly my entire week. Not one, but two of my dear friends have taken up the most dreaded of all bad habits - SMOKING!

Suddenly I feel even further detached from them. They have become strangers to me – these are not the responsible girls I knew and adored years ago. I feel like I have lost my friends already.

I remember how I used to feel when I saw packs of Benson & Hedges on my father’s desk. It broke my heart. Although I was young and naïve, I had learnt in primary 2 that smokers were likely to die young. So everyday I cried thinking daddy may not come home today – he would have died smoking in his office. Those were some of the most miserable years of my life. My friends, I’m sure their parents don’t know. How terrible would they feel if they found out?

Maybe I still haven’t gotten over the uncertainty, insecurity and fear of losing someone special. I was the happiest person when he broke the habit. It wasn’t easy for him and I know he suffered but he made it through. At the time he quit, nicotine patches or gums weren’t even invented so you can imagine how difficult it was then. Now that there are helpful alternatives, why don’t people take advantage of the privileges and stop?

When I look at my parents’ generation, many people smoked – possibly because it was in vogue in their era. In that time, the side effects of smoking were unknown. People thought it was a harmless activity. However, now that all this information is clear, people are consciously taking up the habit.

Now when I think of these girls, the first thing that comes to my mind is “What else has changed with them? Do they drink now?” I am so worried for them…

Its not that I don’t have friends that are smokers, there are a few among my colleagues and classmates. But none of them are Nigerians let alone Hausa girls; not that Hausa girls are better mannered than others, it’s just not a normal thing to come across. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive. After all, this is the first time a friend is picking up the habit while I have known them.

I don't want to lose my friends early. I want them to be there for me in the future like they were in the past. I want to be able to take care of our grand children together. These are smart intelligent girls that would most likely make it big in their disciplines. I want them to live long enough to enjoy the results of their suffering.

Why would any sane person pick up smoking in this day and age? After reading about devastating side effects? After seeing distressing images of the possible fate of your health? Even with clear evidence of the potential complications? How do you sleep peacefully at night knowing that tomorrow, you shall shorten an innocent person’s lifetime from your secondhand smoke?.

I find smokers selfish! Selfish to the people that love and care about them. Selfish to the people they may give cancer through secondhand smoke. Selfish for wasting money when there are other people elsewhere in dire need. Ungrateful for the health they have that others are desperately begging for.


PS: Exams are officially over! Special thanks to everyone that wished me well in my last post. Depending on how results come out, I am probably done with my Undergraduate Degree! I feel so liberated!

Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Exams... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Exams... Busy.... Busy.... Exams... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Exams... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Exams... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Busy.... Exams...


This should give you something to laugh about.

Huh??

*Shock*

Nafisa

Nafisa Yaradua

Nafisa Yaradua is

Nafisa Yaradua is Married...

Nafisa Yaradua is Married....To

Nafisa Yaradua is Married....To an

Nafisa Yaradua is Married....To an older

Nafisa Yaradua is Married....To an older man!

*shock*

Did she have a say in this?
Did she have a say in this?
Did she have a say in this?
Did she have a say in this?
Did she have a say in this?

*shock*

Zahra wishes Nafisa well
Zahra wishes Nafisa well
Zahra wishes Nafisa well
Zahra wishes Nafisa well
Zahra wishes Nafisa well

*shock*

Zahra didn't get an invite
Zahra didn't get an invite
Zahra didn't get an invite
Zahra didn't get an invite
Zahra didn't get an invite

*shock*

Invite or not, Zahra wouldn't have gone anyway!

Invite or not, Zahra wouldn't have gone anyway!

Invite or not, Zahra wouldn't have gone anyway!

Invite or not, Zahra wouldn't have gone anyway!

Invite or not, Zahra wouldn't have gone anyway!

Me no Smart.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr! As I type this entry I am fuming! I can feel the steam coming out of my ears, thats exactly how pissed off I am. I have never thought I'd get this angry over issues like this and it all started from this book to my left. I pray I never come an inch close to this wretched piece of repugnant trash for I will shred it chapter by chapter, page by page, line by line, letter by letter, pixel by pixel, molecule by molecule....you get my point?

Now my fiance, he reads a lot and believes in all those "women talk too much because" "women don't understand because" yadda yadda. I always told him that it wud land him in trouble someday - Well it did.

It all started with a phone call. I didn't speak to him yesterday so I thought maybe we should talk today for at least an hour today; I could use a study break and he's bored.

So I was recapping the fun I had over the weekend. I went with a friend to a Gujurati Dandiya and Garba night (wud blog about it later) and we drove back home well after midnight and thats how it started.

"You girls shouldn't be driving at night, don't you know that women cannot see well compared to men at night and therefore shouldn't drive."

What the hell! How dare he say that to me! If he said it was because it may have been dangerous, or better still, he didnt want me to be out so late it would have made sense.

I took it as a joke at first, but when I found out it was from that book and all the other trash he believed from it I completely lost it. Apparently, the female brain is genetically programmed for household chores and therefore are less intelectually developed than the male *rolls eyes*.

I'm in the middle of a stressful week, have so many things due and I made out time to speak to you but you have the effrontery to open your mouth to tell me I'm less intelligent because I'm female, you must be joking. This is just a way to make women feel weaker than men isn't it? Well I'm having none of it! Not from you! Even the title of the book was offensive to me.

Now I'm not saying women are better than men, neither am saying men are bad. I just dont think its politically and morally incorrect to generalise that all the members of a certain sex are less capable than the other.

Just because a probably frustrated couple decided to pour out each others weaknesses in a book backed by weak fact and concocted generalisations to sell to the world doesn't mean we should blindly believe their illogical "evolutionary" facts.

I know I am judging the book by it's cover but sorry to say; it's hard to avoid considering the name of the book! It's just another way for people to justify their actions and wrongdoings.

Heck I would not tolerate any dude to tell me he did me wrong because its his nature as a man to do so. No way man!

Ironically, it is my mother who is excellent at reading maps and always calls out the directions for my father to follow cos he usually gets confused with navigation.


He sure got a piece of my mind today. It felt good to vent all that stress out. He asked for it! You dont make narrow minded comments like that to your feminist girlfriend and expect to go away scot free. Its funny cos things havent been smooth sailing between the both of us. He just added another crack man!

If he's going to believe junk like that Lord knows what else you'll believe when we are spending "the rest of our lives" together? How will he react when all those "them- say-them-say" people bring rumours about me?

Nonsense, I expect respect! It's a two way thing; I respect you, you respect me everybody wins!

anyways it led to another big fight and guess what? He wants me to adjust my attitude to suit his personality....Hahaha! thats all I said. You'd think that book of his would have thought him diplomatic skills....*hisssssssssssssss*

So I pose the questions;

Has anyone read the book?

Where do you stand on this?

Is it right to point fingers at each other and generalise like this?

Should we use these poorly explained "facts" to justify our actions?
hmm that would be interesting. Hi, I'm Zahra. I'm dumb. I cannot solve simple maths equations because my small female skull cannot analyse such difficult data. I got excellent grades in maths through household chores

Are women really less intelligent?

Technorati Profile

So little Time...So Much to Do

I'd rather spend my days with you...and if that day is not enough, maybe we should stay in touch... I'm not making plans for tomorrow....

Remember the song from the TV show so little time? hehe....oh the memories!

Anyways, Barka da Sallah to everyone! hope u all had a good time, I know I did :) Food in abundance. Wish I went home but oh well. Hope u guys didnt overload! I really miss ramadan :( I cant remember the last time I actually ate Lunch. Still feels like I'm fasting.

Doesn't it suck when you really want to do something so bad but yopu don't have the time to do it? *sigh* October hasn't been a very sweet month for me. Uni is not treating me well that's for sure. I have my huge final year project due next week so wish me luck. The bright side is that Summer (Yes, summer! I live on Mars!) is around the corner.... I'll be a free person mid-November! Yippeee!

HaPpY independence day! Hope everyone enjoyed theirs. I belong to a Nigerian association, we organised a huge family gathering on Oct 6th and I appeared on T.V!!! I enjoyed every bit of it but as usual, our country people only come their to criticise and comment. It's not like they helped out....*hiss* anyways, the rest of us were positive and we had a great night :)

I promise you'll hear more from me when I'm through with that huge project of mine... It's due next friday. Until then, all the best!

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.

~ Denis Watley

Today, I decided to plan the course I wanted my life to take. Thoughts had been lingering in my mind for years but only on this day did I realise the time for me to commence my stride towards my destination has come. Will I make it? Is it a right choice?

Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.

~ Oprah Winfrey

Focus? Not the best of my qualities. Too many involvements, too many commitments, too many things on my mind. By focusing on my goal, am I supposed to abandon the other things in my life that are of value and priority? Does my lack of focus mean I'm negligent of my goals?

Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin.

~ Kathleen Norris

Never before have I felt so lost and insecure. What happens after graduation? Who do I please? My parents or myself? They say they want what's best for me, which I totally agree. Is this a hurdle? Can I jump over it? Or more difficulty, pass through it? Maybe I should be patient! All is not lost. Follow my parents now, and when I am free in the future, I shall choose my own path.

I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.

~ Somerset Maugham

Que sera, sera. What ever will be, will be. So many things I regret. Is it too late?

A part of me rejoices: Unconsciously, my actions have been influenced by the goals i have only realised now. I have even gained CV points along the line without knowing. Did these actions influence my decisions? Maybe, Maybe not, I am thankful....

A part of me regrets: If I had sat to think abut my life before now, maybe I would have made a difference. If I had thought of all this earlier, would things really have been different? If I wasn't such a child maybe I would have been more certain about my future.

So I subliminally say to myself... No time for regrets hun, just actions. One step at a time, no matter what, I will make it...Oh yes I will!

Pre-Ramadan Everything!

It's that time of the year again! Been looking forward to it since God knows when! For those of us that don't know, it's the obligatory fasting period for all Muslims around the world. Most people in Naija started on Wednesday, but in my corner of the world...FriDaY!!! Hehe, two extra days to prepare....Oh and the good thing is, now in my part of the world it's SPRING! So the weather won't be to harsh on our poor souls :) So what have I been up to? I have a week off Uni and I have been having as much fun as I possibly can before I plunge into the books once again...and Of course, preparing for the fasting month...

Pre Ramadan Movies

Chak De! India: I love love love this movie! It had been a while since I went to see a Bollywood flick and I was so excited to see Shah Rukh once again but man, knowing it was a sporty movie I didnt expect it to be this good! I have always known and admired the diversity in India. I knew they have tribalism and caste issues but I didn't know it was just as bad as we have it in Naija - if not worse. Definitely a must see. It's a motivational, feminist and anti-tribalism movie, definitely my type.

Hairspray: It only opened yesterday where I am and I wasted no time, I had to see it right away. I loved every minute of it...didnt think that Zack Efron was that great tho. I preferred Seaweed (Elijah Kelley). John Travolta definitely makes a better woman than he does a man. Twas so nice to see Amanda Bynes after so long. Her acting was so nostalgic I half expected her to go "Amanda Please" in some of the scenes... but she didnt. Most of all I loved Nikky Blonsky! Such a happy person, she reminds of a friend Comfy from high school...I still catch myself humming "Good Morning Baltimore" and "You can't stop the Beat." I'm so going to get the DVD when it comes out...need to learn some of those 60s moves!

Pre Ramadan Shopping!

I had promised to lay off the shopping for a while...need to save some $$$ to buy that vintage guitar I have been eyeing or that lovely Balenciaga bag that has been beckoning from David Jones' windows. But trust Nine West and Novo to make you break your shopping ban! Those shoes looked so fine I had to be mad to not get at least a pair! Plus the price was really reasonable it shouldn't handicap my budget too much. Love the Red and Black check...

Also needed to re-stock on make-up... I use Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse and am I the only one that thinks I have been ripped off? The quality is great but man, how little is the content in that tub? It looks like it is full of the mousse but the glass is bloated and makes it look much fuller than it actually is... I feel cheated. I decided to change mascara to Maybelline XXL and being a L'oreal customer I had never used that Microfibre technology thingy. Don't know if I like it very much....especially the first coat, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITE? Makes it look as if I have grey hair on my lashes... I have always wondred how Jaguar and them Papi Luwe on Lagos Na Wa used to have grey hair on their brows and lashes and now I have an answer....Maybe it's Maybelline? Hmmm, also makes me batt my lashes a bit too much....I only have to manage until it finishes... Oh I also got this really nice clutch bag to go with the shoes! Yipppeeee! I noticed I have been matching red and black a bit too much in my wardrobe....dunno if it's a good idea...I can imagine pple in Naija going "Are you a Cultist?" lol

Pre Ramadan FooooooooooD!

It's official, Every Ramadan I gain 1 or 2 Kgs because of all the good food you get to break your fast with....but not this year! I am going to cut down on eating out and going to invest on fruits (Went to the grocery store and got 2 kilos of Mandarins and Oranges....well I also got choc chip cookies but thats not the point). I will eat out but not as much as last year. Maybe just once a week....I hope. So I decided to go to my favorite Japanese restaurant to get my precious Chicken Karaage ..... mmmmm.....

Pre Ramadan Verakai?

The Verakai: Cirque Du Soleil is also in my part of the world right now and I really wanted to go and see it but I just couldn't get my hands on those tickets!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! I heard very good reviews about this particular Cirque Du soleil and I really really really don't wanna miss it. Good thing they're in town until october but even then.....I WANT IT NOW!

Pre Ramadan Vanity

What is wrong with me? I basically just got myself all dolled up for Ramadan... maybe it's cos I have been on an all time low these days...really really stressed from Uni. So Retail Therapy really helps relieve the stress and so does dressing up...When you look good, you feel good! I need anything toup my spirit right now. For the first time in six weeks i actually have time for myself...Might as well enjoy it before it goes away.

Now I can confidently say, In true spongebob fashion...

I'M READY!

IM READY FOR FASTING!

So you think you can Dance?

Being a reality TV junkie, you bet I love this show. Since I am the worst dancer in the history of dancers in the world of dance, I have no choice but to watch from the sidelines and support other dancers. Shame in my part of the world it's being aired really late...We only just finished Vegas week of season 3. I cheated. I checked wikipedia to see the winner and I am a bit err...disappointed. I really wanted Hokuto to win...Dat dude is just wow! Not too bad for a Japanese dancer! Anyways, his Audition clip from season 1 to season 3...enjoy!

I also Like that popping Phillip Chbeeb guy. Too bad he didnt make it very far...I hope he's doing well now!

Am I the only one that hates the Female Judge's laughter? Gosh it's so annoying! No control at all, I mean get a grip! You are in public!

*Update:: Little Miss Lazy just wrote a new poem! Click here*

Roots...

With gloabalisation taking over the world today, I often get asked a very difficult question "Where are you from?" Tricky question that one because I often don't know what to say. Is the person asking me where I live? Where I was born? Where my citizenship lies? Or even where my parents hail from? Usually I just say I'm Nigerian and let it end there.

Of course, it gets narrowed down when I'm asked by my fellow Nigerians, "You don't have an accent, where are you from?" Or even "I can't tell whether you are Yoruba or Igala, which one are you?" Hmmm, they must've judged by my veil.

My father's definitely Hausa, from the most ancient ruling Hausa family, in the most ancient Hausa Emirate. My mum is definitey Fulani, from a former ruling Sarkin Fulani family in the same ancient Emirate. But being born in the Garden city of Port Harcourt and having a birth certificate that makes me an indigene of Rivers state complicates matters for me!

To make it worse, for a large chunk of my life (specifically, 16 years) I lived in Warri. Some 5 years in those 16 years were spent at boarding school in Benin. Now it's back to Port Harcourt! the past two years have been fun even though PH is turning into something else *sigh*. My Parents took it upon themselves to take us to Daura at least twice a year, especially for Eid (Sallah) because there's the Durbar that we all loved, to see my dear grannies and of course, to prevent my uncles and aunties from making noise about us not being "Brought up Traditionally".

We always looked forward to these visits although it was obvious that we (especially me, Miss Prim-and-proper) didn't quite fit in. I've got two wonderful granmums. My dad's mum being a wise woman (Who taught me how to put Man-Shanu on my hair and henna up to my knees!) and my mum's mum being the funniest person I've ever met (She's half deaf and hears things a bit differently from what is actually said). Then there are the wonderful people that are just so happy and don't have a single worry in the world. Being around such positive people is just refreshing you need to see it to believe it. I just love that place so much!

Being the silent but mischvievious one, I like to annoy my Aunties with my little annoying habits and comments. You should've seen the looks on their faces when I said i'd rather eat Starch and Banga soup than Tuwo and Miyar Kuka. Or even when I said when I get married, I don't want to wear the family Al~ Kyabba (this huge hooded cloak with some HEAVY embroidery on it!) when I leave my parents home ..Hehe... Of course I have changed now but some of my aunties still suggest to my parents to let me stay at their place so I can get some "Training" I wonder which kind of training it is...Hehe. I think I know all I need to know, Thank you very much.

The good thing about being from everywhere was that I got to Naija-trot. Living in one extreme and travelling to the other. Those days we used to make it in two trips or just one 18 hr drive!
What I love the most about being from everywhere is that you learn real tolerance. Life is not the same at all. You really learn to appreciate the beauty of other people's culture while trying to discover and hold onto ours. If you are from the south I urge you to visit the north then you'll know what I'm talking about. Nigeria is so diverse It's almost like I'm living a double life. We used to joke that once we crossed the Murtala Muhammad bridge in Lokoja we have entered another Dimension.

People never understand when I say I AM a confused child. This is just one of the many many complications in my life. I can't wait to see the reaction of my extended family when they find out that my man is not Royalty and definitely not from Daura or even Katsina state...Hehe...Fun times...NOT!

The Maryam Hiyana Scandal

I'm pretty sure by now everyone has heard all da noise about the Hausa actress and her lover accidentally letting a raunchy video clip that wasn't meant to be seen by many slip...*sigh* Usually I try to keep my distance from such stories. You can find detailed info on Bahaushe mai Ban Haushi and Abubuwan da nake tunani. (Available both in Hausa and English.)

Well I can't really say much on the issue since I only read about it from online news and blogs. Times like these i wish I was back home where I can see people's reactions face to face...I have learnt not to trust international media.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted by the culprits' action or by people's reaction to it. People are just impossibe.

My Thoughts

(a) Poor Maryam. Apparently she verbally didn't give her consent. She told him not to video it but he went ahead to do it.

(b) Poor Hausa Movie Industry. I can't count the number of times I have had to support them. People think they spread immorality. I always try to tell peole not to blame the actors but the changing society for all the goss you read about in Mags. I'm running out of ways to support them now since one of the actresses has been caught doing one of the acts they have been stereotyped to be engaged in. I'm afraid saying many positive things may be blindly running away from the bitter truth...

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My Anger

(a) People have the guts to say the public is "over reacting". Huh? Over reacting? Really? This is a society where public display of affection is frowned upon. This kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable to many and I'm pretty sure they knew that before doing something this stupid. The way people reacted can totally be justified.

(b) I know people fornicate, it can't be stopped. Muslim society or not. But to actually capture it and expect it not to be spread around? That's just pushing your luck. Clearly they were looking for trouble.

(c) People have the guts to open their stinking Oral Orifices to say that it's "the girls fault for letting herself get caught up in this mess". ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How many people did you see in the clip? Ehn? One or two? So why the hell is it HER fault? Didn't she clearly not give her consent? Hello! two of them were engaged in the act! I think they were both at fault. If anybody should be blamed here it is THE OWNER OF THE DAMN CAMERA PHONE! Who in this case happens to be the boy or should I say man! (Did I mention he was married? Yup. M.A.R.R.I.E.D His wife left him though (Good on her!))

(d) Some people who have no idea what Islam is about, have never been or lived in Kano before and probably don't have the slightest clue about the northerners' lifestyle are using this as a case study to (mis)judge Muslims! Personally, I don't commend the act by Maryam and Bobo. But I have learnt not to impose my beliefs on other people. So please, respect yourselves and don't use this as an excuse to unleash the hatred you harbour for Muslims! Thanks to others who kept an open mind on this issue.

(e) Most of my favorite actors and actresses have now been banned for the length of 12 months for immoral behaviour. Fair enough. I mean, Nollywood does that too doesn't it? Wasn't Ini Edo recently banned from acting for immoral behaviour? So yeah, nothing new...

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My Joy

(a) I'm actually glad that this happened because now the Hausa film industry can undergo a much needed reform. And when everything is cleared, Zahratique promises to still remain a loyal fan! I'm going to miss the films...but I will prefer it goes through a reform...

(b) I'm glad people didn't go ahead to start fight (I know my naija people o!) any small thing would lead to rikici. I'm happy most of the brouhaha is being passed on paper. You can't go wrong with paper...(except of course, if you shove it down someone elses mouth which I don't condone :)

(c) So far (or a far as I have read) no charges have been laid against Maryam Hiyana and Bobo and I doubt if any would be in the future. I think the public embarrassment is way too harsh as it is plus Maryam has been banned from acting for 5 years....( I doubt if she'd ever return to acting though).

*sigh* I'm so glad I let that out!

Does it really matter?

Went out to dinner with a few girlfriends earlier tonight and i couldn't help but notice one of them, paid a little too much attention on the waiter serving us. As frequent customers we usually see him around and commend him on how much nicer than the other waiters and waitresses he was. Anyway, today she went on and on about this guy - his age, his life, his height, how he could pass as Justin's brother...and a whole lot more. This new obsession prompted me to ask her.

Me: Hey, Do you like this dude?

Friend 1: No, I don't. Why? *she sounded really defensive, as if it was a crime*

Me: You seem to have been talking about him eversince we came.

Friend 2: Yeah Thats true.

Friend 1: I mean, he is nice but you know...dating him? not sure.

Friend 2: Yeah, I can never date someone like him

Friend 1: Me too.

Me: *confused* You spent 10 good minutes talking about how great he is and now what?

Friend 2: He's not my type, I can't date a waiter, never!

Friend 1: Me too! No way man. I have class.


Do you know these girls didn't see anything wrong with their comments? They spoke as a matter of fact that they were better than he was because they weren't taking orders and collecting dishes.

You should have seen the look on their faces when I said there's was nothing wrong with dating a waiter.And as usual, they turned the conversation into another "You are not like us, you are a good girl" type of conversation; like they always do when they know i'm ready to give them a lecture on morality and political correctness.

Was I over reacting for thinking thier comments were horrible? What's wrong with dating a waiter? Isn't he a human being too?

It's times like these that I wonder why i'm even friends with people like these. What if (God forbid) one day they wake up and lose all the money they have right now and have to become waitresses for a living? How would they feel when people don't want to date them because of petty things like that?

Does money really make one a better person? I don't think so. There are good rich men and equally good poor men. Money is the most superficial abstract object that controls the world these days. It's really sad that people cannot see beyond things like wallets and social status. These comments were coming from girls that had considerably well-to-do families and are currently studying good courses at uni meaning one day, they'd have good paying jobs to provide a satisfactory way of life. Does that extra luxury really count?

Money certainly doesn't guarantee happiness... I really dont see anything wrong with dating someone that earns less than you. To me, there is more to wealth than something as common as money. Would you actually trade in riches for happiness?

Ah what a fine day....

Why am I not crying yet? Everything has been messed up today I just don’t understand. I’m having one of those days that nothing goes right. From the headache I have from only 3 hours of sleep from yesterday to the agonising filamentous outgrowth of protein on our skull called hair, it’s like everything just planned to gang up against me today. To add in salt to injury..

(1) My beau and I fought: Right, I may be a dreamer and an optimist but I am neither stupid nor naïve. I won’t be manipulated and I don’t fall for empty talk! Long distance relationships are draining, I tell you. It’s like wind to fire – It will either rekindle a strong fire or blow out a weak one…

I hate it when I’m the one that always points out flaws in our r/ship but how loud do I have to scream it before it is etched in his brain? I NEED YOUR ATTENTION WHETHER YOU ARE HERE OR NOT! Get da wax outta your ears and listen to me; you can’t treat me like a queen for so long and then suddenly pay less attention to me!

Of course when I bring something like this up the whole "Do you doubt my trust" lecture comes up. That's not the point! Seriously, I don’t understand…what does a sister have to do to get some attention huh? *hisss*

(2) Disappearing acts: I hear about this from people but today, it has happened to me. The project report I have been working on all week mysteriously disappeared from my USB.

How that happened, I have no clue. But da good thing is I still have my data but can I finish? This report is due tomorrow….*dies*…11% of my grade is not a joke! …..*resurrects 5 minutes later and starts typing at the speed of sound*....I’m about three quarters through it now but I am having an allnighter…Thank God for Redbull…

I had a great weekend only for it to end up like this. I’m so used to being da number 1 priority and now he’s job hunting… I know I’ll get over it soon but still…. *sigh* I could use some retail therapy right now…Anyways I better get back to that report. I don’t want to disappoint my supervisor, he told me he had hope in me…*pressure* *p.r.e.s.s.u.r.e*

Make Way...Coming thru

Hey There! Welcome to my blog!!! I would've posted an introductory post ages ago but being the very busy woman that I am, what better way to start a blog than one of those meme things, huh? One word answers, here it goes...

1. Yourself: Cheerful + Witty

2. Your partner: Caring

3. Your hair: Wahala!

4. Your mother: SuperWoman

5. Your father: Wiseman

6. Your favorite item: iPod + Phone

7. Your dream last night: I dont dream...often

8. Your favorite drink: Bubble T + Coke

9. Your dream car: VW Bug

10. The room you are in: Warm

11. Your ex: Immature

12. Your fear: Hellfire

13. What you want to be in 10 years: Happy Mum

14. Who you hung out with last night: Myself

15. What you're not: Arrogant

16. Muffins: Alright

17: One of your wish list items: Apple Mac notebook

18: Time: Precious

19. The last thing you did: Eat

20. What you are wearing: Jeans + Tee

21. Your favorite weather: Spring + Autumn

22. Your favorite book: Qur'an + Harry Potter + Many Danielle Steel books

23. The last thing you ate: Vegies

24. Your life: Content

25. Your mood: Calm...indidfferent

26. Your best friend: Myself :)

27. What you're thinking about right now: I don't wanna go to class!

28. Your car: Don't have, wanna buy me one? ;)

29. What you are doing at the moment: u mean u don't know?

30. Your summer: Vacation!

31. Your relationship status: indirectly engaged :)

32. What is on your TV: Don't have a TV either!

33. What is the weather like: Cold + Windy

34. When was the last time you laughed: 20 mins ago...

So that's it, Zahratique in a nutshell. Incase I didn't mention it, I'm one hell of a DramaQueen! SO that means I have a high tendency to blow things a bit out of proportion... Anyways, I'm loving the Nigerian Community of Blogger. Very interesting personalities....I am here to join in on the madness :)

Have a nice day!

Zahratique