With gloabalisation taking over the world today, I often get asked a very difficult question "Where are you from?" Tricky question that one because I often don't know what to say. Is the person asking me where I live? Where I was born? Where my citizenship lies? Or even where my parents hail from? Usually I just say I'm Nigerian and let it end there.Of course, it gets narrowed down when I'm asked by my fellow Nigerians, "You don't have an accent, where are you from?" Or even "I can't tell whether you are Yoruba or Igala, which one are you?" Hmmm, they must've judged by my veil.
My father's definitely Hausa, from the most ancient ruling Hausa family, in the most ancient Hausa Emirate. My mum is definitey Fulani, from a former ruling Sarkin Fulani family in the same ancient Emirate. But being born in the Garden city of Port Harcourt and having a birth certificate that makes me an indigene of Rivers state complicates matters for me!
To make it worse, for a large chunk of my life (specifically, 16 years) I lived in Warri. Some 5 years in those 16 years were spent at boarding school in Benin. Now it's back to Port Harcourt! the past two years have been fun even though PH is turning into something else *sigh*. My Parents took it upon themselves to take us to Daura at least twice a year, especially for Eid (Sallah) because there's the Durbar that we all loved, to see my dear grannies and of course, to prevent my uncles and aunties from making noise about us not being "Brought up Traditionally".
We always looked forward to these visits although it was obvious that we (especially me, Miss Prim-and-proper) didn't quite fit in. I've got two wonderful granmums. My dad's mum being a wise woman (Who taught me how to put Man-Shanu on my hair and henna up to my knees!) and my mum's mum being the funniest person I've ever met (She's half deaf and hears things a bit differently from what is actually said). Then there are the wonderful people that are just so happy and don't have a single worry in the world. Being around such positive people is just refreshing you need to see it to believe it. I just love that place so much!
Being the silent but mischvievious one, I like to annoy my Aunties with my little annoying habits and comments. You should've seen the looks on their faces when I said i'd rather eat Starch and Banga soup than Tuwo and Miyar Kuka. Or even when I said when I get married, I don't want to wear the family Al~ Kyabba (this huge hooded cloak with some HEAVY embroidery on it!) when I leave my parents home ..Hehe... Of course I have changed now but some of my aunties still suggest to my parents to let me stay at their place so I can get some "Training" I wonder which kind of training it is...Hehe. I think I know all I need to know, Thank you very much.
The good thing about being from everywhere was that I got to Naija-trot. Living in one extreme and travelling to the other. Those days we used to make it in two trips or just one 18 hr drive!
What I love the most about being from everywhere is that you learn real tolerance. Life is not the same at all. You really learn to appreciate the beauty of other people's culture while trying to discover and hold onto ours. If you are from the south I urge you to visit the north then you'll know what I'm talking about. Nigeria is so diverse It's almost like I'm living a double life. We used to joke that once we crossed the Murtala Muhammad bridge in Lokoja we have entered another Dimension.
People never understand when I say I AM a confused child. This is just one of the many many complications in my life. I can't wait to see the reaction of my extended family when they find out that my man is not Royalty and definitely not from Daura or even Katsina state...Hehe...Fun times...NOT!
17 comments:
wow...i can now see how much we are in common...my extended family have given up on me looooong ago,they just cldnt cope,coz my dad has always been diffrnt,i am also from the royal family of kazure (jigawa state- faternal),but my grandfather woke up one day nd just decided to leave it all to them...so we kinda go from time to time,but not as much....the mext waziri is suppose to be my dad,but he's not into those stuff,so as u knw it has to be a family thing,noones on the thrown now...nd my mom's side is waaaaaay more complicated than my dads....anways good post...be good
tc sis *kisses
Hehe! Our stories are so similar! OMG! U r from Kazaure? I have to pass by it all the time to get to DRA. Our family is in "good terms" with the Kazaure royl family too! Almost had a cousin marry into it but for some reason it didnt happen. Hehe, they have given up on u already? They seem to thnk because respect them they can manipulate me...They are in for a surprise...Luv them to death tho, even tho they can be a real pain :)
Why are you confused when you should be proud.
This is fantastic. I have been looking for someone who will hook me up with a sheik...tadah, Zahratique, and here u come.
Don't deny me, don't deny me...
Ranki ya Dade.....
I can understand the dilemma facing you daily. But just hold on to the rope .....things will definitely work out for you.
i do not believe our folks are really that bad ...its the generation gap that makes them not to see things in the modern way. Culture shock if you like. The bottomline is that the society is changing and conflicts are bound to occur everywhere.
Liking ur blog. I have always had a fascination for the Hausas, partly because growing up in Naija and now people thought I was Fulani. Where do I get Hausa movies? Also, would love for you to e-mail me via my website www.ladybrille.com and educate me on Hausa fashion designers and styles. I also have a handful of muslim friends in the USA-non Nigerians, mostly middle eastern. I'll be curious to see the fashions Hausa's wear and translate that to what we Africans/Non-Africans in the West can wear.
Thanx for dropping by people :)!
@ Catwalq: I'm proud of everywhere to be honest. I just hate it when people discriminate you in Naija because of your tribe. As for hooking you up, what's my comission? *wink*
@ Hajia: Ina Gaisuwa hajjaju makkatu...hehe... True the generation difference is a reason and I have tried to see it thru their eyes and sometimes, I can see where they are coming from. But when I look around, even in Daura you can see that the family stands out for resisting change (which has its advantages). Just last December I had to attend my nieces' wedding (the emir's kds, you may have heard of it) I swear, I was so close to starting a petition against it...but I chickened out.
@ Ladybrille: Thanks! Trust me we are an interesting bunch I don't know where to begin. You can get movies @ www.hausamovies.com Would send u an email :)
Ten percent upon the receival of a satisfactory liason. Like I said, sheik...can possibly settle for london trained, doe eyed, dubai/jordan totting guy. u organise...
Wow, what a big, lovely, wonderful, diverse, fun, interesting country we have!!! That post makes me want to visit and live in each state!
@ Catwalq: Only 10%? Na sheikhh we dey talk about o! Lallai Madam u r not ready. Abi u wan dupe me? Hmmm, make I tell you I be correct PH mile 1 Market Pricer, 35% or nothing!
@ Awoof: True talk. It pains me that Nigerians still has the ridiculous issue of tribalism. I think we are a beautiful and diverse bunch and we better start appreciating our cultural wealth before it disappears. Why hate on each other when you can be friends huh?
35%?!!!!
You wan collect my left liver and kidney?
Abeg sister, negotiation has ensued. what do u mean? 15% is what I am offering
I have a faintly similar issue. My friends just like to say I'm not Igbo, I'm not delta, I'm just... Nigerian. But its more my fault than anything else!
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